Dreamland is Back

The entire time I was pregnant with Orion, I had crazy, vivid dreams that were very entertaining to retell.  I've always had very vivid dreams, but that seems even more intensified while I'm pregnant.  Last night I believe I had my first pregnancy dream again.  It was pretty short, because my alarm cut it off, but I was entertained nonetheless.  So, why wait?  Let's just tell the story.


I was sitting in the waiting room of a doctor's office.  Time was passing and I just kept waiting and waiting.  Eventually, this SUPER old nurse comes out and calls my name.  By SUPER old, think 100 years old.  However, she is also SUPER fast.  I look down and realized that I'm also VERY pregnant, which means that I am anything but fast.  I get up and try to waddle after her, barely catching up with her in the hallway.  She rushes past the scale and I ask her "wait, aren't I supposed to use this thing" (in real life I would NEVER ask to be weighed.  If they want to skip it, all the better.)  She rolls her eyes at me and sighs really hard and says "I guess".  So I try to step up on the scale, but the thing is crooked and unbalanced like there is a tennis ball under one side of it.  I keep trying to find my balance, but it's leaning so far to the left, that I find myself leaning up against the wall just to stand on it. Despite the fact that I'm not actually standing on the scale, she starts pushing the tab around, chooses a weight arbitrarily since there is no way she ever found balance and writes down a number.  I look over her shoulder and see her write down 112 which is something I haven't weighed since at least middle school.  I tell her there is no way that's right, and she turns around to yell at me for looking at my chart.



At that point my alarm clock went off and my time with the oldest nurse in the world ended.  :)

Week 8

Week 8 is officially here for this super secret pregnancy.  I love learning about what's happening week by week as the baby grows, so I figured I would share those changes, as well as how I'm doing with you each week.  

For baby:
The baby is now about the size of a raspberry and is still growing super quickly.  Hands and feet are starting to develop from the little paddles they started life as.  Eyelids are also forming to cover the tiny eye spots before they start to develop.  The very beginnings of lungs are developing, and the tail is almost gone! The brain continues to grow and develop, and the head is still at least half of the baby's total size at this point.  The baby is also moving around in there, even though it's too small to be felt by me.  

For momma:
Paranoia continues.  I've taken another test this week to make sure that I'm actually still pregnant. It sounds crazy, but ya know.  I have considered buying a little baby heart monitor to see if I can hear that, but I'm trying to be patient until I see the doctor on December 9th...but that still feels like FOREVER away.  I still have no nausea and feel essentially like my normal self.  My boobs may not hurt, but they are definitely changing.  I had to buy a new bra today in a different size!  Also, by continuing to watch my diet and stuff I've lost 6 pounds so far in this pregnancy, so that's a good start.  Also, while I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic until I see the doctor and am sure that things are going well...I find myself starting to get excited about the prospect of another little one. Fingers crossed that things continue to go well. 

Week 7

Well we've reached week 7 of this super secret pregnancy. We haven't told anyone yet so I am writing these blogs and saving them as drafts until it's time to tell the world. It's nice to have an outlet because keeping the news to myself is very hard!!  Anyway what does week 7 bring?

For baby:
The umbilical cord is developed and now my nutrition will be shared with the baby and waste will be returned through my blood. The baby has developed little arm nublets and the organs are starting to form. It is currently about the size of a dice, so that's fun to imagine.

For momma:
I actually feel much better than last week. Nausea seems to have faded for now and my boobs aren't quite as tender. While it's a nice relief, with the fading symptoms comes my paranoia. It's hard to believe you're actually pregnant when you feel normal. When pregnant with Orion I found myself taking almost weekly pregnancy tests to make sure the baby was still there. Once I could feel movement I was fine but until that point I hate the unknown.  Here is hoping the time until my next doctors appointment goes quickly!

Telling Orion

Seth and I are both terrible at keeping secrets.  It really doesn't matter who we are trying to keep them from:  each other, our son, the people we love...we just suck at keeping things in.  We kind of wanted to wait to tell Orion that I was pregnant, at least until we had a picture or something, but as you can see by the title of this post, we did not manage to wait that long.  Honestly, part of telling him was because we suck at keeping secrets, but the other part was slightly out of necessity.  You see, I pick Orion up from school most days.  He is still super enthusiastic and excited to see me at the end of the day (most of the time) and at least twice a week he will run up to me and jump into my arms.  That's super sweet when you're tiny, but the kid is now almost 50 pounds.  Having him run full force and jump into me just isn't gonna work right now, for obvious reasons.  So Seth and I talked about it, and decided we needed to tell the boy.

We sat him down on the couch together and told him that he wouldn't be able to jump on me or wrestle around with me for a while.  He looked upset, like he thought he was in trouble, so we reassured him that he wasn't.  We then went on to explain that I am pregnant and that he is going to be a big brother.  At first, he was very surprised, and then he looks at me and goes "Wait, YOU!??" and I said "yes" and he threw his arms up in the air and yelled "YAY!!"  I took video of that moment and I'm so happy that I did.  He's very excited to be a big brother and spent the entire weekend talking about the baby and what to name it, etc.  He was also super sweet to me, opening doors for me and taking care of me.  I couldn't love him more if I tried.  I'm so proud of him and I know he will be an incredible big brother.

Orion's face when he learned about becoming a big brother:

It's true - 6 weeks 4 days

So, I went to the doctor yesterday, and they confirmed that I am pregnant....so it's official.  PREGNANT!  I'm 32 years old, so this was definitely a surprise, but at this point we've decided that it was meant to be.  The angst is fading and excitement is growing.  I still feel a bit weird about everything, but I hope that will go away over time.

So the important things.  I'm currently 6 weeks & 4 days pregnant, and my due date is listed as July 9, 2017.  So where does all of that mean?

About the baby: 

Currently, baby is about the size of a lady bug.  Primitive blood has started to move through the tiny body, and the spleen is beginning to form.  It's growing and before long a heartbeat may be able to be heard.  Whee exciting things.

About me: 

In general, I feel pretty great.  I'm not as exhausted as I felt when initially pregnant with Orion.  I have gotten  a few of the sharp hormonal headaches that I got last time, but those are rare so far.  Unfortunately, I do seem to be experiencing some nausea.  I haven't gone full morning sickness yet, but I have felt queasy for about a week now, but it's pretty mild so tolerable for now.  I'm trying to just stay hydrated, and started taking prenatal vitamins yesterday.

Antici-pation

Well, it's been a while....a long while.  Geeky baby was something that was a lot of fun during my pregnancy, but became less and less thought about as my son continued to grow older and older.  Today he's an amazing, intelligent, sweet 7-year-old boy with a pure heart and a smile that could warm the world.  Seriously, there aren't enough kind words I can say about my son.  He's forever impressing me with his wit and his compassion for the world....


But today I'm not here to write about my son.  Instead, I'm sitting at my desk at work in a bit of shock...you see, last night I realized that my period was late...like 8 days late.  I knew it was a little bit late but I had been dealing with my grandfather going into surgery and other things, so I had attributed the delay to stress...but as the days rolled by I began to question it.  So last night on a whim I decided to take a pregnancy test and you'll imagine my shock when I saw this:

That's right.  According to not 1 but 2 separate tests, I am pregnant.  It is 100% unexpected and unplanned.  I am in complete and total shock.  So for now I sit and wait for a doctor's appointment this afternoon to confirm my suspicions...and then...well, I don't now.

My feelings right now are hyper conflicted.  I've flipped back and forth about wanting more children, not ever fully committed to the idea but never fully against it either...but Seth has been adamant that he only wanted one.  It's a tough place to be, in all honesty.  I want to be excited, but right now I'm just not.  I wish I was.  I feel horrible saying that.  *sigh*  I guess for now all I can do is wait and see how things go from here.  I just wanted to take a moment to get some of these thoughts out there.

Happy 6th Birthday Orion!!!

Where has the time gone? Today Orion turns 6 years old. It just doesn’t seem possible. I don’t have the words to adequately explain just how proud I am of the boy he’s grown into. He’s polite and funny, intelligent and loving. I remember so clearly the first time I held him in my arms…the first time I saw his smile.... the first time he said “mama.” Now we’re nearing the end of his Kindergarten experience. I know my life is blessed by his presence, and I know so many people who feel the same way. Who knew one person could have such an incredible impact on so many people? His warm smiles and witty sense of humor, along with his incredibly loving heart, manage to bring joy to the world around him. I’m so impressed by him every single day. Happy birthday, Orion! I love you more than words can ever explain. You have made me a better person, and I only hope I can teach you as much about the world as you have taught me. heart emoticon heart emoticon